💌 Inside This Week’s After Party - Edition #3

Unlearning the “good girl” code, reclaiming our voices, and rewriting what womanhood gets to look like, and Brooke Shields on aging out loud, owning your story, and refusing to shrink.

Author

The After Party Crew
June 01, 2025

🥂 Opening Toast

With my parents & sister for my junior high graduation in Toronto, I was 12.

From the desk (more like dance floor!) of Robyn Cohen:

To the rebel rewrites: the ones refusing to be who the world told them to be.

They told us to be small. To be sweet. To be seen and not heard.

We’re rewriting all of that now.

Some of us began unlearning girlhood the hard way, not by choice, but by circumstance. For me, it started when I was just 9 years old. 

My dad decided it was time for me to get out into the world and start becoming independent. That meant learning how to take the subway and bus alone in Toronto and spending one day a week working in his office. 

At 13, I got my first part-time job. At 19, I moved to Montreal to attend university and work full-time to support myself.

But things didn’t go as planned.

At 20, I got kicked out of school. I cut ties with my parents. I supported myself entirely for a year. 

By 22, I clawed my way back into university, and at 26, after barely graduating and living at home for a year, I packed two duffel bags, grabbed my green card, and took $1,000 USD I had managed to save, and moved to New York City. Alone. No safety net. No backup plan.

Since girlhood was something I never really got to hold onto, I had to unlearn it early — and fast. To survive, I had to become loud. Assertive. Direct. Bold. Aggressive. Too much. I had to fill rooms before I was invited in.

It’s how I made it through 3 years in New York, 7 in L.A., 4 in São Paulo, and all the other cities and chapters that taught me to stand on my own.

Yes, it got me in trouble sometimes. 

I’ve been let go. Fired. Labeled “difficult.” I’ve pissed off the right people. I’ve defied authority, especially the kind that wanted to put me back in my “place.” 

But most of those consequences came in rooms built to reward women for being quiet, polite, obedient, and self-sacrificing.

So I say to you: it’s time to unlearn girlhood, not the joy or magic or softness, but the conditioning that told you your worth was tied to how nice, pretty, small, or pleasing you could be.

This is the season of your becoming. Of your ambition. Of your voice. Of your power. Of taking up all the space you need and then some.

This week, raise a glass to the girl you once were — and to the woman who’s rewriting the rules now. 💥

💣 Truth Bomb

Being ‘too much’ was always just code for being powerful.

Let’s be real: “too emotional,” “too opinionated,” “too loud,” “too ambitious,” “too sexy,” “too intense,” those weren’t flaws. They were flares, signaling your power before you could fully step into it.

We were conditioned to fear that power, to dim, dilute, and downplay ourselves to be likable, to belong.

But what if the very things that made you "too much" were your origin story? What if “too much” was never a problem, just a threat to the status quo?

This week, we invite you to reclaim the parts of yourself that were pushed aside or labeled problematic. Let them take up space. Let them lead.

🔍 Ask yourself:

  • What parts of yourself have you been told are “too much”?

  • Who benefits when you silence or shrink those parts?

  • What would it look like to let them take up space, unapologetically?

💡 This week’s challenge:

Write down one part of yourself you were taught to shrink — and commit to one small action this week to reclaim it.

Maybe it’s your voice. Your confidence. Your creativity. Your ambition. Your boundaries.

📓 Write it down somewhere you can see it, or hit reply and share it with me.

Then:
➡️ Take one bold, small step.
Speak up in a meeting. Say no without explaining. Wear the thing that makes you feel powerful. Share your ideas. Ask for what you deserve.

This is your unlearning in motion.

💌 I’d love to hear what you’re reclaiming, reply and tell me about your “too much” moment this week.

💫 Mirror Talk

Taken at the Hyatt Regency in Salt Lake City

“To the me who still apologizes before speaking — stop it. Your voice is the revolution.”

To the version of you that still says “sorry” before daring to speak:

STOP!

You are not interrupting, you are igniting. Your voice isn’t too loud, too bold, or too much. It’s the revolution they didn’t see coming.

👑 The Guest List

Photo by Taylor Jewell / Invision / AP

Brooke Shields – Actress, Model, and Advocate for Women's Empowerment

Brooke Shields, 59, has been in the public eye since childhood, navigating the complexities of fame, beauty standards, and personal growth. 

Recently, at the Wall Street Journal's Future of Everything event on May 28, 2025, she spoke openly about the transition from being perceived as the "hot girl" to confronting the challenges of menopause and aging.

Shields emphasized the importance of authentic dialogue and the need for products that cater to women over 40, a demographic often overlooked in the beauty industry.

She humorously noted the shift many women feel as they age, stating, "Some women feel they shift from being 'hot girls' to dealing with menopause and incontinence," highlighting the lack of representation and support for aging women. 

Shields expressed frustration with how aging women are ignored in marketing, despite their significant spending power, and acknowledged her past participation in perpetuating limiting beauty standards. 

Now, she seeks to change the narrative, empowering women to embrace their age unapologetically and prioritize self-care.

Shields' candid reflections resonate with the theme of unlearning girlhood, as she challenges the societal norms that dictate how women should age and encourages embracing the liberation that comes with it.

Read more about Brooke Shields' insights on aging and empowerment in her recent interview: Brooke Shields Talks Going from 'Hot Girl' to Menopause.

🎁 Party Favors

What’s in your bag this week? Unlearning tools, main character vibes, and beauty with backbone.

📣 Last Call…

Before we turn the lights up...

What if this next chapter isn’t your second act, but your real debut? Hit reply and tell me one thing you're doing for yourself this week — no guilt, no justification. Just joy.

You’re on the list because you’re a woman who gets it.
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Until next week,

~ Robyn Cohen