🔥 This Week at The After Party — The Messy Middle

🍸 Opening Toast

Direct from the After Party VIP lounge — it’s your host, Robyn Cohen!

To the women in the thick of it; jobless, joy-curious, juggling reinvention with rent.

To the ones knee-deep in the pivot, not who they were, not yet who they’re becoming.

This one’s for you.

I’ve lived in the messy middle for years. Not weeks. Not “summer sabbatical” cute.

Years.

Mine started in 2019. I left my job at 45 with nothing but audacity and hope.
No master plan. Just a gut that said: you can build something on your own.

So I did.

I built W Collective, a spotlight on Utah’s women-led ecosystem. It got buzz. It got me on stages.

Then life punched me in the face — literally.
I broke my jaw in three places (rogue scooter, don’t ask). Wired shut. Five weeks. A muffled voice.

But I still pitched at a competition, with my mouth wired shut. Didn’t win. Got a standing ovation. Because sometimes, the act of showing up broken is the power move.

Then came COVID. A new job. A new loss. A pivot to events

Then at 49, I launched Utah’s 40 Over 40, honoring women who weren’t "over the hill", they were building new ones. Three years. One epic gala. And then, I walked away.

Another pivot.
I joined my family’s ad business in 2024. It was safe. It was smart. But it wasn’t mine.

Because deep down, I wasn’t done.
Not done dreaming. Not done building. Not done becoming.

So I launched this.
The After Party, a love letter to every woman throwing spaghetti at the wall and realizing:

✨ She’s the sauce.

This isn’t just a newsletter. It’s a signal flare.
For the women in the in-between — the ones who refuse to disappear.

So here’s to the messy middle:
The place no one brags about but everyone survives.
The long-ass stretch between breakdown and breakthrough.
The remix before the rise.

It’s not a crisis. It’s an initiation.
And guess what?
You’re the DJ now.

⚡ Your Move:

Post this on your mirror.
Text it to your loudest friend.
Screenshot and tag us @join.theafterparty with:
“I’m the sauce.”

💣 Truth Bomb

Reinvention isn’t a vibe shift.
It’s a soul quake.

It doesn’t look like a Pinterest vision board.
It looks like sobbing in your car between interviews.
It looks like Googling “how to start over at 46” at midnight — again.

It’s quitting the thing that gave you status,
doubting everything that gave you comfort,
and showing up anyway, cracked, quiet, but still in motion.

It’s not a glow-up.
It’s a grief wave.
A full-body exhale that says:
“This version of me is done. And that’s sacred.”

People will call it a phase.
They’ll ask if you’re okay.
You’ll wonder the same.

But here’s the truth:
Reinvention is resurrection.
And resurrection doesn’t look tidy.

It looks like doors slamming.
Like silence after letting go.
Like unraveling the lie that staying small is safer than starting over.

You are not broken.
You are becoming.
You are not off track.
You are off-script, and that’s where the story gets good.

❓ ASK YOURSELF

• What version of me is dying, and why am I still trying to resuscitate her?

• Where am I mistaking the sacred pause for personal failure?

⚡️ CHALLENGE OF THE WEEK

Choose one area of your life — work, love, identity, body, motherhood — and name where you're deep in the unknown.
Then don’t fix it.
Just witness it.
Because naming the mess is what makes it holy.

📍Put it in your journal. Or whisper it out loud.
Reverence begins with recognition.

📚 WANT TO GO DEEPER?

For the women deep in their chrysalis era — here’s your reading list:

🔗 “Moving from Invisibility to Empowerment for Women in Midlife” — Society for Women’s Health Research

🔗 “The Heroine’s Journey” — Megan Dalla-Camina
The feminine roadmap to becoming.

🔗 “10 Steps to Reinvent Yourself and Realize Your Potential ” – Science of People
A guide to reinventing yourself.

🖤 TL;DR:

Reinvention isn't cute.
It’s brutal.
It’s sacred.
And it means you’re brave enough to outgrow your former self.

Let them think you’re lost.
You know what you’re doing.
You’re becoming unrecognizable — on purpose.

🪞 Mirror Talk

“To the one who feels behind:
You’re not lost.
You’re in the chrysalis.
It looks like stuck, but it’s just becoming.”

👑 The Guest List

Mel Robbins - Motivator, Media Maven, and Master of the Pivot

Before she became one of the most sought-after motivational speakers in the world, Mel Robbins was stuck — like, seriously stuck.

At 41, Mel was unemployed, facing bankruptcy, and completely overwhelmed. Her marriage was hanging by a thread. She was in full survival mode, waking up every day with a pit in her stomach and no clear plan forward.

She didn’t pivot because it was inspiring, she pivoted because standing still became too painful.

Then one day, she had an idea. Not for a business, a book, or a personal brand, just a lifeline. She started counting down “5-4-3-2-1” and physically launched herself out of bed.

That one small action became the foundation for The 5 Second Rule, her now-famous method (and bestselling book) that’s helped millions overcome fear, procrastination, and doubt.

Since then, she’s written multiple bestsellers, launched a hit podcast, built a media empire, and maybe most importantly, continued to speak openly about the messy, not-so-glamorous middle parts of her journey.

“You’re not supposed to have it all figured out.

You’re supposed to just keep going.” 

— Mel Robbins

What makes Mel so powerful isn’t just her advice, it’s that she shares before photos of her life.

The self-doubt. The failed ventures. The broken parts she had to rebuild from the inside out.

At 56, she’s still evolving. Still experimenting. Still in motion.
She’s a reminder that the messy middle is not a detour, it’s the real road to becoming.

🎧 Listen: The Mel Robbins Podcast
💬 Watch: Her TEDx talk on “How to Stop Screwing Yourself Over” (33+ million views!)
📖 Read: The 5 Second Rule 

🎁 Party Favors

Because every pivot needs tools, not just pep talks. Here’s what we’re loving to help you survive (and slay) the in-between:

💋 Swipe it! Explicit Lipstick in Provocateur by NARS - A high-end dimensional satin lipstick that delivers long-lasting comfort with vibrant, pure-color payoff

🧴 Use it! The Self Love Bundle Kit by Sweet Bee Organics - Self-love all wrapped up in a beautiful gift box

🧘‍♀️ Try It! 10 min Meditation Embracing Change by Kyn - A guided meditation to move through the process of change

📣 Last Call…

Before we turn the lights up...

What if this next chapter isn’t your second act, but your real debut? Hit reply and share what your messy middle has taught you.

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_{(Fellas, if The After Party isn’t quite your scene, that’s cool. But chances are, you know a woman who needs this energy. Be a hero, hit forward)}

Until next week,