This Week at The After Party: What I Thought I'd Be By Now

Opening 🥂 Toast

To the women still dreaming, still building, still showing up, no matter the timeline.

To the ones who: 

Didn’t check every box by 30

Who kept going at 40

Who restarted everything at 50.

To the ones who reimagined what life could look like when the plan fell apart.

You’re not late. You’re not lost. You’re not less.
You’re just moving on your clock. And that’s the only one that counts.

Let’s get something straight:

• The average age of a first-time female founder? 42. (Susansly.com)

• The largest age bracket for female business owners was 55 to 64 years old, at 26 percent. Around 19 percent of female business owners are 65 or older. (Polaris Growth Studio)

• And a growing number of women are becoming mothers after 35, with birth rates for women 40–44 increasing while every other age group is declining. (Evidenced Base Birth)

The timelines are shifting, because we are.

“I thought I’d be married by 28,” 
“Instead, I left a toxic engagement at 31 and finally feel like myself again.”

“I thought I’d have a house and two kids by 35,” 
“Instead, I started therapy, adopted a dog, and launched my dream business. I’m proud of that.”

(Anonymous submissions)

These are not failures.
They’re redefinitions, brave, messy, sacred.

So, let’s toast not to the life we planned, but the one we’re choosing, again and again, even when it looks nothing like the vision board.

Because what we’re building now? It’s real. It’s ours. And it’s just getting started.

🥂

Truth 💣 Bomb

Let’s name it: society sold us a checklist like it was salvation.

👩🏻‍🎓 Graduate.
👩🏽‍💻 Career.
👰🏼‍♀️ Partner.
👶🏾 Babies.
🏡 House.
💰 Promotion.
♻️ Repeat.
🧓🏻 Retire.
🪦 Die.

And if you missed a step? Cue the guilt. Cue the panic. Cue the scrolling through strangers’ timelines wondering what went wrong.

But what if your life didn’t come with a finish line?

What if you stopped measuring it by what hasn’t happened, and started seeing the beauty in what is?

Here’s the truth:
You’re not behind. You’re just not playing their game.

Rip up the rulebook. Burn the blueprint. Build something that actually fits you.

🔍 Ask Yourself

• Whose timeline are you measuring your life against — and did you ever actually agree to it?

• What would your life look like if “by now” wasn’t a weight, but an opening?

• What have you built, survived, or become that’s more valuable than the milestone you missed?

✍️ Challenge of The Week

1. Write your own timeline — from scratch.
   Make it weird. Make it honest. Make it yours.

   Forget “married by 30” or “millionaire by 35.” Try:

   • “Fall in love with myself at 41”

   • “Move to another country at 50”

   • “Write a book that saves someone else at 56”

   • “Start over — again — at 62”

   
   Then post it, journal it, or whisper it to your reflection.

📚 Want To Go Deeper?

If this hit a nerve (in the best way), read these:

1. “What If You’re Not Behind — Just On Your Own Timeline?” – Medium
   A sharp, compassionate reminder that no one’s actually “on time.”

2. “These 5 Women Changed Careers After 30. You Can Too.” – Inhersight

   You’re not alone in contemplating a career change at this stage of your life.

Mirror 🪞 Talk

“To the her who thought she’d have more by now:
More love. More money. More milestones.

Here’s what you do have:
Resilience. Courage. Wisdom that only comes from walking through the fire.”

👑 The Guest List

Mita Mallick - DEI truth-teller, powerhouse storyteller, and author of Reimagine Inclusion

Mita is what happens when you mix real leadership with radical honesty.

She’s spent her career rewriting the rules around power, motherhood, and who gets to lead.

As a woman of color navigating corporate America, and doing it her way, she reminds us that rewriting the story doesn’t make it less valid. It makes it more yours.

“There’s no perfect time to be a mother. No perfect path to success. No one-size-fits-all way to lead. You get to define it — daily.”

She talks openly about:

• Starting a family on her own timeline

• Navigating rooms that weren’t built for her — and staying anyway

• Why inclusion isn’t just corporate strategy — it’s personal

She’s your go-to this week if you need a role model for bold pivots, unapologetic boundaries, and owning your voice at every stage.

🎧 Listen: Debunking Diversity and Inclusion Myths in the Events Industry with Mita Mallick — on the Bizzabo podcast series

📖 Read: Reimagine Inclusion: Debunking 13 Myths To Transform Your Workplace — Mita delivers powerful storytelling combined with practical and hands on ways for us to be more inclusive leaders

🎥 Watch: Becoming Unstoppable with Mita Mallick — on the All Over Again podcast.

Party 🎁 Favors

📚Read it! “The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are,” by Brene Brown — Brown shares a way of engaging with the world from a place of worthiness.

 👚 Buy it! Age Is Just Women's V-Neck Tee by Old Lady Gains — Classic confidence meets modern empowerment. A message-driven tee designed to celebrate attitude and achievement at forty, perfect for themes of identity, confidence, and embracing experience.

🧘‍♀️ Enjoy It! Hinge cuff bracelet by J. Crew — Hinge Cuff Bracelet is a stylish, eco-friendly jewelry piece that combines minimalist design with versatile wearability.

📣 Last Call…

Before we turn the lights up...

What if this next chapter isn’t your second act, but your real debut? Hit reply and share what your messy middle has taught you.

You’re on the list because you’re a woman who gets it.
If you loved this week’s After Party, forward it to someone who’s just entering hers.
Want to unsubscribe? You’re always free to leave the party — but we’ll miss you!

Follow us on Instagram!

Follow us on LinkedIn!

(All of the linked products are independently selected and curated by The After Party crew. If you love and buy something we link to, we may earn commission.)

_{(Fellas, if The After Party isn’t quite your scene, that’s cool. But chances are, you know a woman who needs this energy. Be a hero, hit forward)}

Until next week,